My Henry,

I thought that one day you may want to hear the story of your birth day:

On Tuesday (March 8th) I had an appointment with my OB. I was over 41 weeks and anxious. My mom had flown in from Utah the previous Wednesday and we were all just (im)patietly waiting for you to decide to make your appearance. My OB let me know that she had scheduled my induction for the next day (Wednesday) at midnight (So I guess technically Thursday). Ugh. I was still hoping to go into labor on my own, but I was making absolutely no progress. Dilation at zero, and no signs whatsoever that labor was imminent. At the end of my appointment my OB decided to quickly do an ultrasound scan to be sure everything looked good. She discovered that my amniotic fluid was a little low. This changed our gameplan... I was told to go to the hospital to be admitted immediately.

I called your dad, who was at work, and told him to meet me at home so we could head to the hospital together. I quickly packed up a few things, checked that we had the carseat & suitcases in the car, and said a prayer. When dad got home we excitedly drove to the hospital, holding hands the whole way. It felt a little strange to be heading to the hospital to have a baby, when I wasn't actually in labor - it wasn't exactly how I pictured this experience to go. I was so excited, I began crying. Dad squeezed my hand and told me he loved me.

Once we got to the hospital (around noon) I was taken to my labor/delivery room. We had taken a tour a few weeks prior so I was excited because I knew there was a jacuzzi tub in the room and I looked forward to utilizing it - Something I never got to experience... But i'm jumping ahead. I got into a hospital gown and they put in my IV. The hospital was busy, so within an hour period I had 5 different nurses checking on me. The first thing your Dad did after we settled into our room was order from the menu (We both were allowed 3 meals per day) The food was pretty good. After a few hours my contractions started, and I immediately felt grateful that I hadn't experienced a contraction earlier. They are NO picnic. as time went on they got progressively more intense. At around 6:30pm, my doctor came to check me for dilation & to break my water. Well, I was still at a zero, which meant she couldn't break my water. I was frustrated. After my doctor left the room, Dad decided to go get some Taco Bell. We both felt justifiably safe about him not missing anything. But about 5 minutes after he left... my water broke on its own! I remember lying there thinking "Oh my gosh, I just pee'd my pants" I was really embarrassed. But then the fluid just kept coming and coming and I finally realized this was not me peeing my pants. I was relieved ;)

After my water broke, my contractions got really bad. And suddenly they began to shift from my front to my back. I remember thinking "this can't be normal". The doctor explained to me that I was experiencing back labor. It was brutal. I reacted a lot differently than expected. At first I cried and moaned through each contraction...I repeatedly said things to my nurse like "Please, if you don't help me, I will die". And at one point I remember telling your dad that I was all done - that we coud just pack up our things and head home because I wasn't able to handle this. Clearly I was talking nonsense... Your dad had to remind me that simply leaving the hospital wouldn't make the pain stop...You were still going to come! :) I wasn't able to get an epidural since I was only dilated to a 1 at this point, so eventually I realized that the only way I could get through the contractions was to stay completely still and silent. I got on all fours (since my labor was in my back) and began to concentrate and breathe through each contraction. And for the next 4 hours I went into a state of silent meditation. I was a bit frustrated because I know that your dad thought I was asleep. While really, I was very much awake, and experiencing the most pain I have ever felt in my life.

Around 3 or 4am I was in so much pain, I began mumbling incoherently about how I needed an epidural. The nurse told me that even if I were dilated enough to receive one, there was no anesthesiologist available at the moment. Around 7am though (now dilated to 2 1/2) a man came running into my room, an anesthesiologist! I think I told him I loved him. He told me that he had literally 5 minutes before he needed to be back up in the OR for a c-section, but that my nurse had been pestering him so much that he came to my room on his way. I could have kissed my nurse! The epidural was really painful for me, since I was laboring in my back, but once I had it, I was in HEAVEN. After that, things started to progress quickly - I think it was because I wasn't under so much stress.

At around 10am I was checked and I was dilated to a ten! My nurse said she could feel your head! You were really COMING! We quickly called your grandma Laura, who was at my aunt Linda's house. My nurse told me that we could start pushing within the hour. She left the room to go get my doctor. Right when she left, I felt a sudden strong urge to push. I buzzed for the nurse. She came back in smiling and told me that since this was my first baby, I probably would be pushing for an hour or two. But I just knew I wouldn't be. I felt such strong urges to push. I knew you were close, that you were ready, that this was IT! My doctor came in and confirmed exactly that... And jst like that, I began pushing. Grandma Laura got there just in time to see the pushing. I pushed for only about thirty minutes. As strange as it may sound, I LOVED the pusing part. I felt empowered, and excited. The feeling of you leaving my belly and entering this world was indescribable. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life. I think I did about seven rounds of pushing and then there you were. Born at 10:49am. I heard that little cry and just melted with relief and joy. Your Grandma Laura cut the umbillical cord. I had so many emotions overwhelming me. Immediately after you were born they put you on my chest and I just stared at you. Your dad cried. I was crying too and shaking so hard. I think I was in shock. I remember being afraid to hold you because I thought I would drop you. The rest seemed like a blur. They swooped you up and measured & checked you. It didn't feel real to me, I felt like I was in a dream... Like I was watching something incredible happen from somewhere else. I don't think reality truly set in until they wheeled us into our recovery room. They put my sweet, swaddled baby boy in my arms and I just cried. I felt so grateful, and I couldn't believe how much love I already had for this little life. I couldn't stop staring at you. I still can't stop staring at you.

And that was the best day of my life.