The title sums it up.



I am accident prone. No matter the setting, circumstances or activity, I will find a way to spill, knock-over, bump-in-to, trip, drop, throw or break something. In the past week I have stubbed my toe multiple times, spilled a full Dr. Pepper all over my Fiance (for the 2ND time unfortunately... honey, you are a patient fella), stepped on and broke an earring, spilled my juice, spilled my water, spilled my __________ (fill in the blank with any beverage & I bet you I probably spilled it.), ripped a beloved t-shirt after dripping chocolate sauce on it, burned my arm with the iron (while simultaneously knocking over a beverage. double fail), tracked some mysterious black ink onto my work carpet, poured Diet Coke down my shirt, (I apparently missed my mouth), tripped in public & awkwardly began skipping, so people would think I was skipping, rather than thinking I tripped. As if a 23 year old woman skipping while in public is more socially acceptable than tripping over my shoe. Shoulda taken the tumble with pride, knowing that at least I hadn't been caught skipping for no apparent reason.

Anyway, I am accident-prone. And I can't help it. The scary thing is, I have gotten better! Baby steps to being a normal-functioning, careful, cautious adult. One who does not require a bib. It was ok to be clumsy when I was young, blame it on my age & my awkward, lanky, growing body. But that only lasted as an excuse for so long. At some point you realize that you are responsible for more spills in your house than your four-year old step-son. Is it ok that I secretly blame him every once and a while? Ok, I'm kidding, I'm way more mature than that. WAY. Am so!

But seriously, I need to work on it. I refuse to one day hear from one of my children "Mom you spilled again?, do we need to get you a sippy cup?" or "Mom, how many times do I have to tell you to not run in the house?" I can see it now.
Then I'd say "you're not the boss of ME! "
Then I'd threaten that I was going to ship them to boarding school to keep them quiet.
Then i'd cry hysterically and hold them to my chest and tell them I didn't mean what I said, buy them an ice-cream cone & tell them they were my favorite. And give them $20.
And then, when Brett came home, I'd probably blame the spill on one of them. Just because I can. And because I really spill a lot, so I think Brett will appreciate it if I switch up the culprit, to avoid a repetitiveness in spill-related scolding. Aren't I thougtful?

And that is how that will all go down in the future. Any questions?

I'm a loser.

Welcome to adult life Lisa. We hope you enjoy your stay.