Dear John Fluevog yellow-round toe-perfection-in-a-boot-boots I saw up in Vancouver last week,

I miss you. I think about you every day. Do you think about me?

The way you felt in my hands, on my feet, hidden in my purse (just kidding).

I see a lot of shoes, and I know there will be many more to come. But when I saw you, it was different. It was an immediate love. I just knew I had to have you. I knew nothing could ever keep me from you. I knew that I had found the shoes that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Period.

Oh, Then I saw your price tag.

...And I choked on my gum.

Then I curled into a ball & sobbed until I was ushered out of the store and onto the curb lined with weepers. shoe-less, heart-broken weepers . And we cried together.

Ok, maybe it didn't go just like that, but it was darn close. I'm sure that happens all the time in the John Fluevog store, right?

As I left, I took one more look at you behind the glass window. Then around the store.. and no offense my boot beauties, but I fell for every single one of your cousins as well.

I love you John Fluevog. You creative & unique genius, you.

Must. sell. kidney. for. shoe. money.

-Lisa's lovesick feet.

I was looking for a picture on my aunts computer the other day when I came across a file labeled "Lisa's Wedding" in my cousins picture folder. Oh great, I thought. But I must say I was a bit curious, since of course, I have not held on to any of my own pictures from the day.

So I clicked... And I will tell you this:
Though I lived the experience, though I planned it, and bought the dress, and mailed the invites - I realized in once glance that I could not remember actually being there. The feeling, the details, or the woman in the dress. Particularly the woman, she was unrecognizable to me. (And not just because of how much heavier she was :) She was just... Not me.

When I look back on my life choices up until now, I can't help but feel grateful. Grateful for experiences that hurt me, challenged me, broke me, and ultimately those that saved me. The experiences that eventually awoke a strength in me that I had never known was there, and that I needed desperately to find. And the choice that brought me to where I am now, led me to become a person I love, and shaped me for a future I have always known I have wanted deep down. And, of course, it brought me to my B... where I belong.

Life is good, and it just keeps getting better. :)

So....... I hate running.

I have never understood why people enjoy running. And to be frank, I judge runners. Clearly it is coming from a jealous place inside of me, but I still judge them. It makes me feel better about myself (and the pint of Dulche De Leche ice-cream I regularly eat). What would possess a human being to lace up their tennis shoes and just ... run?

I have not always been immobile. I have ran before. I vaguely remember 9th grade. Running around the grassy soccer field 5 times was equivalent to one mile. The coach would time us. Wanna know what I ran it in? I have no idea. I can't remember, because I HATE RUNNING. Wanna know what I do remember? braiding my friend Jessica's uber long hair, And dominating at grass haystack contests, And discussing my "top ten" list (a list of our top ten male crushes, in order of hottness).

So that was then, and this is now. And not much has changed in the attitude-towards-running department. When I go to the gym I do the stair-climber & the elliptical & ANYTHING else besides the treadmill.

With all of that being said, the next part of this post may seem a bit... out of sync.

On Sunday, my dad texted me. I love my Daddy. We do the "hi, whats new" "Nothing new here either" "yada, yada yada..." Then he proceeds to tell me that he is thinking of signing up for the Rock n' Roll Seattle Marathon in June, to run the 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles). Now normally I would have reacted the same way I always react when others share athletic-related goals or activities they are taking part in with me. I have a somewhat standard response. "Wow, that's awesome. I could never do that." I say that not because I genuinely wish I could do whatever the person is participating in, But because it's what you say. On the inside I'm thinking "Sucks to be you, that sounds horrible." So... that being said, you'd think that the next moment of my life, the one after my dad announced his 1/2 marathon plan, would have gone much like that. Well, it didn't. Do you know what happened next?

...I, for some unexplainable reason quit texting and called my dad. When he answered I blurted out. "I am going to do it with you!"

"WHOA GUUURRRL?, whatchu talkin bout?!", I immediately said to myself. Did I, Lisa Nicole Best, 2000-2001 Albion Middle School grass haystack champion, just willingly agree to run? Not run out of necessity or panic. Not run away from the cops. Not run to class to avoid a tardy. Not run to the bathroom when I really have to go. But run for...for fun??

I don't know why I said it, I don't know why I suddenly felt inspired to, not only run, but train for the next 5 months for a 13.1 mile race. But I said it, it wasn't a dream. And as if that weren't unexpected enough, before I could even get out of it and try to take back what I said, B said, "I'm going to do it with you!" (Reality has sunk in for him as well no doubt, because since then I have heard statements from him such as "We aren't really doing this, right?" and "So Lisa, while we were running today, breathing in exhaust from passing vehicles, I realized that I really, really don't want to do this") :)

We are, however, doing this. And we have both agreed that we are just going to do our best. Prepare ourselves as best as we possibly can in the next five months. Whatever result that means, we will just have to wait and find out.

So there you have it. A goal has been born. A really, really, really sucky, hard goal. But I must say... IF I can do this... IF I am able to awaken the discipline that I know has GOT to be chillin' somewhere inside me & really, really do this, I will be beyond proud of myself. And that seems worth trying for.

For the past few days B & I have been running. I am ashamed to call it running, since it's such a short distance at the moment, but it is, in fact, the act of running that is taking place. And as I was running tonight (alone, since B was about 1/4 mile ahead of me), I suddenly felt excited- (yes, I was running and feeling excited simultaneously). I suddenly felt like this was going to be a really good thing. For two 'lounging experts', as I'd like to call us, B & I are not incredibly active. I work out, but I never run. So for a couple of NON-runners who dislike running to the extent that we do, I have concluded that there could not be a better challenge for us than this. There could not be a better way for us to grow closer. There could not be a better way for me to whip my body and my mind into shape. And there could not be a better way for me to get to know myself, and my limits.

These conclusions are what will keep me going. ...Even if I can't move my legs at the moment.

Wish us luck! Or at least wish that the race gets canceled.

:)